After the Aisle: Tips for Planning Your Marriage

By Tammy Edwards with The Candy Lady

For months (or maybe even years) you’ve been planning the perfect wedding. You found the perfect dress, the perfect venue, and the most scrumptious food. It may take approximately 175 to 500 hours to plan a wedding. That is equivalent to working a fulltime job for two months! You have read magazine articles, scaled every website that exists, and spent hours on the phone with your planner. But how much time did you spend planning your marriage?

There are four C’s to a loving and long-lasting marriage. Communication, Collaboration, Commitment, and Compromise.

Communication is key to any good relationship. Women are generally very good communicators. They may talk with their friends for hours on end. Men, on the other hand, may be of few words. It’s important to have open and healthy communication before the stroll down the aisle. Good discussions for you and your partner to have should include how many children you each want if any, and how to raise them. Do you foresee a big house in the suburbs or a life in the bustling city? What about finances? Who is going to be responsible for which household expenditures and who will determine the budget?

Don’t forget about holidays! They can be a point of contention, especially when you have been accustomed to spending them with your respective families. Spiritual and religious beliefs should also be discussed at length, especially if you and your spouse are of a different faith.

Collaborate on everything. Work together on big purchases and projects. Most choices for the home should be made together, not in isolation. Once married, your spouse is your partner and teammate. Work together!

Commitment, of course, has to do with staying faithful, but also means working with your spouse. Every day of the marriage will not be sweet songs and roses! You will disagree, but agree to disagree cordially and remain committed to working out any differences. This may require counseling after the wedding and into the marriage. No matter what, stay the course. And always in your conversations, try to see things from your spouse’s point of view.

Last, but certainly not least, compromise. You cannot have your way ALL of the time. Marriage takes compromise. You can’t go to your parents every Christmas and leave your spouse’s parents out. You want a dining room set; your husband wants new golf clubs. Which is more important? It’s not the end of the world if he sometimes doesn’t put the toilet seat down. Just lower it yourself and move on.

Marriage takes work, but it’s worth it. Many couples who have been married 20, 30, 60 years have stood the course because their love for each other pushed them to work through the difficult days and enjoy the fruits of marital bliss. These four C’s will make for a beautiful wedding and an even more wonderful marriage.

Tammy Edwards is the Owner/Operator of The Candy Lady. Tammy started her business after designing a buffet for her 30th high school class reunion. Buffets may include candies, cookies, popcorn, doughnuts, and anything sweet that you desire. She also creates customized gift baskets, boxes, and favor bags for all occasions. Learn more here: Always Custom. Never Duplicated.